Do Aur Do Paanch Review

Do Aur Do Paanch...hmmm...2 + 2 = 5...this is probably the reason my maths is rubbish after growing up with film lines like this. Released in 1980, directed by Rakesh Kumar, the film was a nice little entertainer masala film, mostly playing for laughs and it succeeded.

The opening title sequence is amusing to say the least, with some rudimentary animation intertwined over the credits, while the music is like it is from old 1970's TV cop show. In cartoon world, Shashi Kapoor is apparently white with brown hair and Amitabh Bachchan has somehow obtained a black mans lips - I kid you not!

But its okay, as with the explosion ending the sequence we see our heroes of the film in jail wasting no time cursing each other - so it looks like they aren't exactly best buddies - "But why??" I hear you scream, well good old Om Prakash (in a guest appearance) tells the story.....

At night, Vijay (Amitabh) and Sunil (Shashi) are both burglars apparently, even though Sunil wears a bright red polo neck jumper! They're both after the same stash and meet at the safe. After some seriously evil daggers exchanged they both grab the bag and somehow amazingly enough end up on a roof where its clearly day time, while the guards are down below patrolling in errm night time. The have a very cool slow motion fight on the roof while both still holding onto the bag but eventually in their ruckus the bag rips open, the money flies away and they get caught. Rival robbers they are, each other despise they do, they will surely kill each other.

Bitoo....feel sorry for this kid...I really do....he has so many bodyguards, hot female nannies, massive house, a Dad who looks like he's working his socks off in order provide enough wealth for Bitoo to, as his Dad states..."play" with! Ungrateful little shit...at this juncture I would like to point out that I was actually unsure of Bitoo's gender...boy or girl...or maybe both..I don't know, isnt Bollywood great! Anyway, Bitoo however, all he wants is to spend time with his Dad, and to get rid of the bodyguards as they don't let him enjoy the spoils of his fathers hard work, however his Dad explains his body guards are necessary as they keep the rakshas far away.....and what demon is kept at bay....Kader Khan of course...or as he is known in this film....UNCLE!

After a cool intro, Uncle greets his "nephews" and makes plans to kidnap Bitoo. So whats his problem with Bitoo and his Dad, well apparently Bitoo's Dad ruined Uncle's dreams. Uncle wanted to start a gambling den, and to finance it he silently stole it from the workplace of his former Boss'...yes Bitoo's Dad...and would put it back within 3 months.....great dream Uncle....truly ambitious stuff. Obviously he got caught and thrown in jail.

Unfortunately Uncle's plan to kidnap fails, not because of Bitoo's uncanny ability to outrun four cars, but it is because Shalu (Hema Malini) manages to intervene by either laying down a bicycle in front of a car or by moving a melon cart in front of the car which manages to divert a car, yes a CAR, and manages to make the CAR turn on its side and spontaneously combust. Wow. Only in the 70's. Have to say though as totally unrealstic it was, enjoying and amusing it was. Shalu takes Bitoo into her school and convinces her Father to enrol him at the school where she works, after he's satisfied of the security.....I mean he should be, I mean what school has sharp shooters in place!! So it all seems okay for Bitoo, he's at a great school, has the chance to make friends and all is well. Kind of....you see both Vijay and Sunil get wind of how much Bitoo is worth and both infiltrate the school as teachers in an attempt to kidnap Bitoo and get some dosh.

Vijay enters the school as a PE Teacher taking the alias of a dead guy that nobody knows is dead who is the best friend of the head masters daughter (Parveen Babi - yum!) as Ram....and Sunil, well he is actually one of Uncles nephew's, so you can see why he's in there too. He comes in as a music teacher as Lakshman. Ram? Lakshman? Great thinking writers, I applaud you!!

What follows now as the basic premise is set up is the hilarous adventures of Vijay and Sunil in school both trying to kidnap Bitoo, try to be teachers, and usurp each other. The set pieces are very funny, and this is solely due to the sheer strength of performance by both Amitabh and Shashi. Their comic timing is perfect, and they play off each other very well. Whether its Shashi forcing the kids to feed Amitabh a puri each after hes just stuffed himself, or when Amitabh gets his own back by spreading dirty rumours of the music teacher to Shalu.

Deep down though they are good guys, and after a session they open up, and talk about their stupid way of life as theives, which is of course is heard by their respective love interests. They vow to fix them (as like most asian girls like to do with their beaus) and make them realise the Do aur Do Char hai not Do Aur Do Paanch (2 plus 2 = 4 not 5). They eventually become friends and realise Bitoo is just a kid, and both turn their back on Uncle. The best scene for me though was when Shashi had to make run for it through the gauntlet of sharp shooters to help save his mum and sister from Uncles grasp, with every chance of getting shot, but no, NO way was that going to happen, as his best buddy managed to steal the bullets. They both run down the hill in slow motion, look at each other, smile, then hold hands as they continue to run to save the day - vaaah...kya dosti! Ram Lakshan esa toh hi hai! After a cool show down with our heroes and Uncle in his hideout, the day is saved. Did get a bit melodramatic at the end, would have been nice to keep the comedy going, but hey, this is a bollywood film, and it wouldnt be a bollywood film without some kind of melodrama!

Not many songs in the film, the main one being the title track, sung by Kishore Kumar was brilliantly picturised by Amitabh at an bonfire night for the kids. He was so cool he even made flowers rise from a rock and walk in the air, while poor Shashi was getting shoved about all over the place. Easily the highlight of the song list. The others boring, not even worth mentioning.

Watching the film again after about 7 years, still funny, the chemistry between Amitabh and Shashi is an absoloute joy to watch. It has the usual quirks and crappy effects from films of that era, but that is what makes these films gems, and it sits proudly among my Amitabh DVD collection.